


In Between These Lines of Mine

by madsthenerdygirl



Category: She Loves Me - Bock/Harnick/Masteroff
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-26 16:27:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 3,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15004808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madsthenerdygirl/pseuds/madsthenerdygirl
Summary: There were quite a few letters that Georg and Amalia had to, ah, edit.Or, in Georg's case, burn.





	1. Amalia

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dorothy_williams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorothy_williams/gifts).



> This is all dorothy_williams' fault so blame her.

_Dear Friend,_

_Had we been together in person when you told me your thoughts on Anna Karenina, I would have kissed you. Your insights were so poetic, and you clearly felt the book so deeply in your heart, I wish I could have seen the expression on your face and the light in your eyes as you said it out loud. How I long to hear your voice curling over the words and pressed up against the skin of my throat. I’m sure that had I been able to see your face as you spoke, I would have had no choice but to steal the words straight from your tongue—_

 

“No. No, no, no…”

_Dear Friend,_

_How I wish we had we been together when you told me your thoughts on Anna Karenina. Your insights were so poetic, and you clearly felt the book so deeply in your heart, I wish I could have seen the expression on your face and the light in your eyes as you said it out loud. How I long to hear your voice curling over the words ~~and saying much more dark and secret things in my ear as your hand slips into my blouse~~_

 

“For God’s sake, Amalia, pull yourself together.”

_Dear Friend,_

_How I wish we had we been together when you told me your thoughts on Anna Karenina. Your insights were so poetic, and you clearly felt the book so deeply in your heart, I wish I could have seen the expression on your face and the light in your eyes as you said it out loud. How I long to hear your voice curling over the words. I confess that I picture you as a baritone._

 

“There. Much better.”


	2. Georg

_Dear Friend,_

_Your insights on the passionate affair between Anna and Vronsky had my heart pounding. Your understanding of the ~~way they~~_

_Your understanding of the ~~carnal~~_

_Your understanding of the way ~~that pleasure can~~_

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

 

_Dear Friend,_

_Your insights on the ~~passionate~~ affair between Anna and Vronsky made me wonder if you would object to being a part of such an affair and if you would let me touch you like that, like I’m on fire and I’ll die if I don’t get my mouth on every inch of your skin—_

“Right. Sound like a pervert Georg. That’s a great way to win her over. Smartest goddamn woman in the city and you’re making it all about your dick, Jesus Christ…”

 

_Dear Friend,_

_The way that you talked about the affair between Anna and Vronsky made me wonder if you wanted to be a part of one like that yourself. I thought I could almost sense a longing that matched mine, the kind where you want to be with someone who makes you forget common sense and propriety and everything except for the person you’re kissing…_

 

“…I’m going to have to burn this one.”


	3. Georg: An Interlude

_Dear Friend,_

_How I wish we had we been together when you told me your thoughts on Anna Karenina. Your insights were so poetic, and you clearly felt the book so deeply in your heart, I wish I could have seen the expression on your face and the light in your eyes as you said it out loud. How I long to hear your voice curling over the words. I confess that I picture you as a baritone…_

“Georg!”

Georg nearly dropped the letter as he saw Ilona and Kodaly staring at him as he entered the shop. “What?”

“Your hand!” Ilona hurried over to inspect the bandage that he had wrapped around his hand after he’d, ah, singed it. Just a little. Just a tad. “What happened?”

“Do you need a balm?” Kodaly asked, clearly trying not to laugh. “We’re having a sale…”

Georg glared at him. “I’m fine, thanks. Just… got too close to the pot while cooking dinner last night, that’s all.”

Ladislav was giving him an annoyingly knowing look as Georg stuffed the letter into his pocket. “Again?” he asked.

“Yes, again,” Georg hissed, walking over to him and turning him away from the others.

“Can’t you just arrange to meet this girl? Do something about this whole… tension, thing, you’ve got going on?” Ladislav paused. “You know there’s also such a thing as—”

“I’m well aware there’s such a thing as…” Georg checked over his shoulder to make sure that nobody was eavesdropping. “Can you blame me? Can you really blame me? When she’s talking about Anna and Vronsky as if she knows—knows intimately, mind you—what it’s like to feel that way and—and what am I supposed to do when she’s just so smart and has this way with words and is probably beautiful and…”

“There’s some drool in the corner of your mouth,” Ladislav noted dryly.

“The point is, there’s only so many times I can erase what I write before I just have to give it up.”

“And you couldn’t just throw it in the trash instead of burning it!?”

“What if my landlady reads it!?”

“Oh for heaven’s sake…”

 

* * *

 

 

_Dear Friend,_

_Might I suggest that we read ~~Lady Chatterley’s Lover~~_

_~~Delta of Venus~~ _

_~~Tropic of Cancer~~ _

_The Great Gatsby next?_


	4. Amalia

_Dear Friend,_

_I wish that you could see my face as I read your letters. The way that my breath quickens as I take in the sweet words that you have put to the paper. Sometimes, I confess, I kiss your signature at the end of your letters. It’s stupid and fanciful of me, I know. You’ll probably think me a silly stupid girl._

_Sometimes, after reading your letters, I’ll just have to slide my hand between my legs and touch myself thinking about you and imagine that you’re whispering the words into my ear and it’s your fingers sliding into me, so much thicker and longer than mine I just know it and_

“Oh God. No. I can’t tell him that, oh my God.”

 

_Dear Friend_

_Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you_

_Do you have any idea how frustrating it is when I touch myself and picture you and there’s no face, and I want so badly to have a face to go with all the beautiful words you_

_Do you know how many times I’ve orgasmed thinking about you_

“What the hell is wrong with me for goodness’ sake where is my eraser!?”


	5. Georg

_Dear Friend,_

_Your last letter had many smudges on it ~~I fear that there is some bad news that you were trying to tell me and didn’t know how~~ I’m worried that you’re going to find someone else who is actually all the things that I pretend to be and he’ll be the one who gets to ~~kiss slowly down your neck~~ smell your hair and dance with you at midnight in the living room ~~and hear your whimpers when he licks his way up your thighs~~_

_I want you so badly I ache for it and I can’t escape the fear that you’ll be disappointed in me. Sometimes I wonder ~~if~~ when we meet I should just walk up to you and kiss you before doing anything else so that I’ll have gotten to do it at least once before you reject me._

 

_Dear Friend,_

_Sometimes ~~all the time~~ I don't know what you see in me but I would learn Russian for you._

 

_Dear Friend,_

_How tall are you because sometimes I think about how you would fit in my lap but that would depend on your height I'm 6'3"._

_I'm also 6"._

 

“Note to self: do not try to write letters while drunk.”


	6. Amalia

_Dear Friend,_

_I got the job!_

_Oh, first I should tell you: I lost my job. I didn’t want to say anything because I knew that you would be worried. The place that I was working at closed down. It seems to be happening to so many lovely stores these days. But I was determined and got a new job yesterday morning!_

_It’s lovely, really, just the perfect place to work. I’d have nothing to complain about if it wasn’t for him._

_My new coworker._

_He’s basically the general manager although he’s technically a clerk just like the rest of us, but the owner clearly trusts him and I can see why. He knows the business inside and out, he’s dependable, ~~has a charming smile~~ , t ~~his warm expressive voice,~~   ~~lovely dark eyes,~~ responsible, and works well with the customers. But ever since I started he seems to have decided to hate me._

_I don’t understand what I did wrong. And it’s all the worse because ~~I find him quite attractive~~ ~~I find myself getting butterflies around him~~ I find him intimidating and I’m ever so nervous and I just blurt out the most awful things at him—but he deserves them, really, did you know he has purposefully said my name wrong every single time?_

_I wish I could be around him the way I am around you. You get to see the best in me, dear friend. I fear what will happen when we meet in person. Will I become the nervous, awful girl that I am around Mr. Nowack? He dislikes me so much and I fear that you’ll dislike me too and I couldn’t bear that because I’m so deeply in love with you I_

“…maybe I just shouldn’t mention Mr. Nowack at all.”


	7. Georg

_Dear Friend,_

_You would not believe the infuriating woman that I now have to work with. The only thing to recommend her so far is her face ~~because she’s shockingly beautiful~~ and even that is questionable because all it does is trick you into thinking she’s a sweet lovely girl ~~because of her big doe eyes~~ when in reality she is the most critical and biting woman in this entire city._

_I wish I could come home to you in person to talk to you about things like this. Or perhaps not to even talk to you about them at all. I could just walk through the door and kiss you and wrap you in my arms and you’d lead me to the bed ~~or it wouldn’t even have to be the bed walls work just fine~~ ~~and so does a kitchen table actually~~ and I could forget all about my other troubles. I could just get lost in the feel and heat of you and the way you screamed my_

“Burnt yourself on the stove again, Georg?”

“Shut up, Ladislav.”


	8. Amalia

_Dear Friend,_

_You are always so kind and gentle in your words. Your literary insights are astounding and I adore the way that you describe your reaction to music. I read your descriptions as I listen to the piece you’re talking about and it’s almost as though you’re here with me._

_Sometimes, I wonder if perhaps you’d always be gentle if we were in person. Or would there be times when you just couldn’t wait? Where you got a little rough with me? Times where perhaps I’ve teased you too far and you push me against the wall or on top of the glass counter and kiss me and of course you probably wouldn’t mean for it to go farther than that but I’d wrap my legs around you and I could feel how much you wanted me and I’d tell you to do it, and you would, you’d spread me open and tell me to moan your name and I would, like when you told me to fill all those stupid tubes and I did because you said it in this rough voice and I just felt my knees buckle a little and_

 

“…oh. My God.”


	9. Georg

_Dear Friend,_

_The ways that I want to kiss you:_

_Ever so gently to wake you up in the morning_

_A quick peck on the cheek as I run out the door_

_Soft and slow the very first time_

_Deep and devouring the second time_

_Over and over again until we can’t breathe_

_Slowly down your neck as I undo your dress_

_Hard and fast whenever you criticize my tie_

_Slow and deep with your face in my hands until you have no choice but to shut up and I can feel your knees give out_

_Up against the wall with my hands sliding underneath your purple dress, the one you claim is ‘lucky’_

_On the work table in the back room with your legs wrapped around me_

_Up the inside of your thighs until you’re begging me_

_Rushed and furious as I move inside of you_

_In the hollow of your throat afterwards_

_On your breasts when I tear off that ridiculous blouse you wore the other day_

_From behind as I wrap my arms around you_

_On the corner of your mouth as we fall asleep_

“Wait what the fuck—purple dress!?”


	10. Amalia

_Dear Friend,_

_I feel as though I am cheating on you._

_I have imagined you so often, so very often. I have imagined you reading to me. I have imagined dancing to Chopin with you across the floor of the living room. I have imagined tucking my arm into yours as we go to the art museum on a rainy afternoon. I’ve imagined you moving inside of me, your mouth on mine, your lips at my neck, my breasts, the way your hands will skim over my body, the way my hands will move over yours, my fingers mapping out your face and gripping your shoulders, my heels digging into your back, your hands holding up my legs or pinning my wrists down—_

_It was always so frustrating because I could never picture your face. Or hear your voice._

_But now when I imagine—_

_I feel awful. I love you, I want you, but I don’t know what you look like and my mind just jumps straight to Mr. Nowack and I feel so badly for it but what else am I to expect when I don’t even have a picture of you and my mind has to conjure up something and he has such large warm hands and this voice and his stupid jawline and mouth and_

“Amalia did you just erase a hole in that paper?”

“Good morning, Ilona, you’re certainly observant today.”


	11. Georg

_Dear Friend,_

_I have never wanted to kiss you so badly in my life._

_Amalia. Amalia, I have never wanted to kiss anyone so badly in my life._

_It’s like my whole body aches because I’m holding myself back. Every time I look at you—I can’t seem to stop looking at you—I fear that you’ll figure it out and I become terrified because, well, it’s me._

_You must be wondering why I’m wooing you as Georg when I already have you as Dear Friend, but the thing is, I know what my reaction was upon first learning who you were. And when you saw me in the café… your expression spoke plainly enough. I can’t possibly have you as Dear Friend if you don’t want me as Georg, can I?_

_But it’s so hard not to simply walk over and tell you—to put my hands on your hips and pull you in and not even kiss your mouth, kiss just under your jaw, kiss you everywhere I could until you were begging me to do it properly and then only then I’d kiss you for real and I don’t think I’d stop kissing you until the world ended._

_I wonder what you’ll feel like, what your voice will sound like, what words you’ll say, if you’ll be demanding or pleading or both. I wonder if you’ll let me get on my knees for you, if you won’t mind if I tear a few buttons off because I’m dying of impatience over here._

_But mostly I wonder if when I kiss you, you’ll taste like vanilla ice cream._

“…well obviously I can’t send this one.”


	12. Amalia

_Dear Friend,_

_Despite all appearances and various things I’ve said and done over the years, I’m not a stupid girl._

_Are you Georg?_

_Could you—I hate that I find myself hoping for it. That the man who I’ve been fantasizing about as you actually is you. He was in the café that night when he had no reason to be. He could pretend to be celebrating all he wanted but Georg is devoted to that store and Mr. M is like a father to him. He never would have come into that café to celebrate, of all things._

_But if not for that, then why was he there? At that time, on that night, of all nights?_

_This is probably just my own wishful thinking but can you really blame me for it? When you are so unknown to me in some ways and he is so unknown to me in others?_

_Because he was right in the café. I don’t really know him. But I know what he looks and sounds like and how he is when he’s tired and when he’s cranky and when he’s elated._

_And conversely, I know your heart and your interests and your fatherless childhood and your past and your dreams, but I don’t know what you look or sound like, how you are after a bad day, how you handle adversity._

_But if you are Georg, how can I even begin to explain to you? How could you forgive me?_

_Did you know that the reason I criticized your fingernails was that I imagined your hands pushing up my skirt, pulling down my underwear, your fingers sliding inside of me, and I realized I could never finish that fantasy because I wouldn’t ever let you finger me until you’d taken care of that hangnail?_

_Did you know that the reason I even noticed your tie was that I wanted it tied around my wrists?_

_Did you know that part of why I was so nervous when I walked into the shop that first time was because the most handsome man in the world with this charming voice walked up to me and I had no idea what to do with myself?_

_He was so awful. But he’s not now. And I was awful too and I’m not awful to you, Dear Friend, my darling friend, always darling no matter what you look like._

_Although that was rather suspicious, wasn’t it? That you should not ask Georg to deliver a note of some kind to me? That you waited and chased him down? That if you knew you had to leave on urgent business—surely you must have needed time to—_

_I know it’s stupid and it’s possibly wrong of me but I can’t help but hope…_

“You, Amalia, are sending him nothing of the kind.”

 

_Dear Friend,_

_Christmas Eve is drawing near, and after your lovely apology letter I was hoping that you might wish to try again? My mother always wants me to bring a guest home…_


	13. Epilogue

_Dear Love,_

_For you must know by now that’s what you are. In case I wasn't clear enough last night: you were beautiful and perfect and I intend on a repeat of everything as soon as possible, so don't even think of getting dressed._

_I didn’t want to wake you, but I also didn’t want to alarm you by making you think I had left. There’s a Jewish coffee shop around the corner. I went to pick up some pastries, I’ll be back soon._

_Merry Christmas,_

_Your Dear Friend_

_P.S. Waking up to find you asleep on my chest was the best morning of my life._


End file.
